Day 50 (Post Run)

I've finally had time to reflect on my hard work over the past few weeks. My running schedule has not been nearly as strict but I've made a point to commit to at least one five mile run per week. I run more if I can fit it into my schedule or if I want to, but otherwise, I'm not pressuring myself at all. I am enjoying not being tied to a training schedule. That being said, my goal for next year is to run the Fifth Third River Bank Run (25K). My running schedule will soon pick up again but I'm looking forward to it. It will provide some stimulation for me during the cold winter months.

Last week, I watched a video clip from the half marathon. It was so overwhelming I started crying when it was done. I realized at that moment I had finally fully digested my experience. I had completed the training and the race, but not been able to complete the journey until that moment. I had been physically strong for months but at some point I forgot that physical strength isn't everything, even when it comes to running and racing. Mental strength and emotional strength are just as important; and while I understood that, I think I simply forgot to let go and rest my mind when it was over. Just like the body needs rest after a long run, the mind and soul need rest too and I had not allowed that for myself. It felt good to finally rest completely.

I had lunch with a good friend last week who asked me what I thought about during my runs. It was a great question; I'm so glad someone asked. My response was this:

~ It depends. On shorter runs (five miles or less), I just took everything in and tried to absorb my surroundings. I took in the weather, the colors, the sights, the noises. For instance; on my five mile runs, there was a barn and field at the halfway point. During many evenings in the summer the sky would be changing colors from blue to pink, gold and purple and the moon would be rising over the field surrounded by color. The west side of the barn would be a brilliant red as the evening sun illuminated and showcased it's simple beauty. I will never forget what that looked like. The scene's details changed a little every time I ran but in a way it was very much like my runs; each run was always a little different.

On longer runs, I would pray more and focus more on my breathing and rhythm. I would pass the time by listening to NPR and PRI podcasts. I would, in essence, morph into a machine after about mile eight. Thinking at that point was not an option. I just ran. After eight, ten, twelve miles, running became a mental challenge, almost like a form of active meditation. Physical ability was secondary.

Whatever distance I was running, I made it a point to enjoy every moment, no matter how painful, frustrating, exhausting or challenging. I have no negative training memories to speak of. I don't remember specific instances of pain, frustration or exhaustion. I know those moments existed, but I remember them as good things. ~

Day 16 (Post Run)

16 days after the race I've finally made some time to write again.

I'm not sure where to start with this entry because I haven't had much time to reflect on my experience. We got home from Toronto on September 28th and on the 29th, my in-laws arrived and stayed for a week. Come to think of it, I really haven't thought deeply about my race at all since the drive home. There just hasn't been time. I think I will have a few more entries after this one.

Toronto was amazing. We had a great time and want to visit again. I love the city. There is so much energy and life but somehow it's still relaxing. Traffic never stops, people are everywhere and the city never sleeps, but to me, it isn't tiring. Schedules revolve around public transit so in a way, life seems to slow down in the city. I enjoyed walking to the grocery store and only buying what we could carry back to the hotel.

The city, specifically Toronto in this case, has a lot in common with running. I love them both and maybe for similar reasons. Running takes energy but it's still relaxing and it makes me feel alive. I never stopped during my runs, I never gave up, just like the city. The city just keeps going and doesn't get tired and somehow I always found strength during my runs. My "normal" schedule slowed down during my training, at least enough to allow for running to be my first priority; in essence, my life revolved around my running. I hope for that trend to continue. I also realize I only "carried" what I could during training too, which ended up being a lot more that I thought I could carry.

Day 80

Day 80! Even as I wrote it in the title, I was thinking, "Wow, really?" and found myself counting the days on my calendar. I can not believe how fast the past 80 days have gone. I'm no longer running for distance at this point in my training schedule. I'm running a set amount of time for each run this week and I only have one 20 minute run left, which I plan on completing tonight. It is really hard for me to comprehend the fact that after three months of training, this whole thing is almost over. I'm excited for my race on Sunday but I'm somewhat sad at the same time. It's a bittersweet feeling. I've worked so hard and moved so fast for this one day, this one experience. I know I can run more races and do this again, but first experiences are special. There are feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, fear and excitement that are never present, at least not in the same way, with second, third, or fiftieth experiences. I wish I could have somehow slowed the last three months down. I wish I could have found a way to better savor the moments, good and bad, challenging and easy, peaceful and distressing. It's going to be difficult for me to wind down for the next few weeks as my life slowly returns to normal.

I ran the Gazelle Sports Bridge Run on Sunday and did really well (for me at least). My official time was 29:17 which is about four minutes better than my race times last fall. It was nice to be around other runners and I was able to somewhat prepare for the racing environment. There were just over 1000 runners on Sunday and I'll be running with about 14,000 people next Sunday. I'm not sure the two environments can be appropriately compared. I can't wait to be at the starting line. It feels like I'm a kid waiting for Christmas. At this point, I am going to just sit back and enjoy the ride. No more worries, no more fears.

Day 73

I ran my longest training run of 12 miles last Saturday. It was challenging and I wasn't feeling 100% that day, but I completed my run on pace. When I finished my run, my body was feeling just how I expected it would....like I had just finished running 12 miles. I think I chugged a 20 ounce bottle of Gatorade in 1.3 seconds flat after I dragged myself to the refrigerator by my fingernails from the front entry where I involuntarily collapsed after walking into the house. Okay, I'm exaggerating a little, but I was in pain. I seriously did have to use the handrail to safely make it upstairs. I spent the next 30 minutes (at least) in an ice cold shower. It felt wonderful. Advil was my best friend Saturday night.

This will sound crazy after what I just wrote, but after last Saturday I'm really excited for my race. Even after all the pain I dealt with Saturday, and for the previous three months for that matter, I know I can do it! I mean come on, if I can run 12 miles, what's another 1.1 miles? The race is less than two weeks away now and I get butterflies in my stomach every time I think about it or someone asks me about it. I'm starting to build my travel list and I'm strategically planning laundry days so my favorite running clothes are clean for the trip.

Over the past three months I've learned a lot. Not just about what I'm personally capable of, but also about the science behind running, the importance of "fuel" and Gatorade, how to avoid chaffing (which by the way is no joke - it's downright painful), how to deal with blisters, tight muscles, stiffness, how to run with a cold, what clothes are best for what weather conditions, and a slew of other things I can't think of right now. I'm sure I'll be digressing for a while after the race is done. For now, I have a little more training to do before I can stop to look back at everything I've accomplished and learned this summer.

Day 68

I didn't realize it had been almost two weeks since I'd blogged until today when my mom asked me how running was going. I've been so incredibly busy with life that blogging just hasn't been a priority. My grandparents visited last weekend, my best friend will have a baby any day now, my cat had surgery this week and work has been busier this week than it has been in the past three months. I'm drained. However, I still think my blog is an important part of this experience so tonight I'm carving out some time to digress.

I've run two eight mile and two ten mile training runs in the past month. I can't believe how far I've come in just two and a half months of training. I'll run my longest training run of 12 miles tomorrow. In fact I just finished mapping out my course on one of my favorite websites, www.mapmyrun.com. All of my training runs are archived on the site so it will be another neat way to look back on what I've been able to accomplish during this experience.

It's hard to believe my half marathon is only 2 weeks from this Sunday. I signed up for a 5k on September 20th so I can prepare for the racing experience. I'm really looking forward to it. It will be a good way to mentally prepare for the race on the 27th. Although, I know racing with a few hundred people on the 20th will be a totally different feeling than racing with 14,000 people in the half marathon.

I've already starting thinking about what my goals will be after the race. I've focused on my goal of finishing a half marathon for so many weeks that I have a feeling it will be hard for me to not have something to work toward anymore. I know I want to keep running after this is done, maybe I'll run another half marathon, maybe I'll just stick to 10k races for a while. We'll see.

Day 57

I can't believe it's the end of August already. This month flew by, just like the rest of summer. My race is less than one month away now and I'm starting to get really excited! I realized today that the first day of autumn is also less than one month away.

The weather has cooperated with me almost every time I go out for a run. I've really enjoyed my time on the Paul Henry Trail and running around Reed's Lake. I'm glad I've been outside so much to enjoy the uncommonly cool, crisp and dry summer. Today's and yesterday's weather were perfect. The air smelled fresh and clean and reminded me of how the water from Lake Superior makes the air smell in Grand Marais. The clouds were slow moving yesterday, despite a swift westerly breeze. It felt like they were trying to hang on to what little summer we have left and slow time down. The nights are getting cool enough to need a second blanket; a cruel reminder that winter isn't that far away. Despite knowing what's coming in the next couple of months, I have to admit I'm looking forward to running during the next few weeks during September as it cools down even more.

Saturday I ran 8 miles in 82 minutes, right on pace at about 10:30 per mile. It took a couple of weeks to get back to normal after being sick but I feel strong again. I'm no longer nervous about my long runs. It doesn't really seem like a big deal anymore. Running has become such a "normal" part of my life now it almost doesn't feel like I'm doing anything extraordinary. I still know what I'm doing is a pretty big deal but it just feels, well, normal. In a way I wish it still felt new and unknown but it's also a really cool feeling to be comfortable with what I'm doing.

Day 47

This week has passed too fast. I've been tired since Monday and tomorrow's 10 mile run is quickly sneaking up on me. I don't feel like I've had a chance to rest at all. In past weeks I've been able to take some time to relax and recharge for my long Saturday run but this week has not allowed for that luxury. My training has not been easy this week which doesn't help prepare me for tomorrow at all.

Sunday was really muggy and a little warm for outdoor running. I started my 3.5 mile "active recovery run" on the treadmill, which broke after 1 mile. I finished my run outside but it was dreadfully uncomfortable. My treadmill is still broken so for the time being I'm at the mercy of the weather. My 4 mile run Tuesday was painful. I had a cramp in my side, my back hurt, my knees hurt (I think because of my new insoles - not a big fan) and I couldn't catch my breath. I just couldn't get into my run for some reason. Yesterday was better. I wasn't in the mood to run last night but it's getting easier to find motivation to run. I guess maybe it isn't even motivation. I just don't think about it anymore. Running on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday is automatic for me. I don't let my brain tell me I'm too tired or too sick or too busy. I just do it.

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn." Psalm 18:32-36