Day 50 (Post Run)

I've finally had time to reflect on my hard work over the past few weeks. My running schedule has not been nearly as strict but I've made a point to commit to at least one five mile run per week. I run more if I can fit it into my schedule or if I want to, but otherwise, I'm not pressuring myself at all. I am enjoying not being tied to a training schedule. That being said, my goal for next year is to run the Fifth Third River Bank Run (25K). My running schedule will soon pick up again but I'm looking forward to it. It will provide some stimulation for me during the cold winter months.

Last week, I watched a video clip from the half marathon. It was so overwhelming I started crying when it was done. I realized at that moment I had finally fully digested my experience. I had completed the training and the race, but not been able to complete the journey until that moment. I had been physically strong for months but at some point I forgot that physical strength isn't everything, even when it comes to running and racing. Mental strength and emotional strength are just as important; and while I understood that, I think I simply forgot to let go and rest my mind when it was over. Just like the body needs rest after a long run, the mind and soul need rest too and I had not allowed that for myself. It felt good to finally rest completely.

I had lunch with a good friend last week who asked me what I thought about during my runs. It was a great question; I'm so glad someone asked. My response was this:

~ It depends. On shorter runs (five miles or less), I just took everything in and tried to absorb my surroundings. I took in the weather, the colors, the sights, the noises. For instance; on my five mile runs, there was a barn and field at the halfway point. During many evenings in the summer the sky would be changing colors from blue to pink, gold and purple and the moon would be rising over the field surrounded by color. The west side of the barn would be a brilliant red as the evening sun illuminated and showcased it's simple beauty. I will never forget what that looked like. The scene's details changed a little every time I ran but in a way it was very much like my runs; each run was always a little different.

On longer runs, I would pray more and focus more on my breathing and rhythm. I would pass the time by listening to NPR and PRI podcasts. I would, in essence, morph into a machine after about mile eight. Thinking at that point was not an option. I just ran. After eight, ten, twelve miles, running became a mental challenge, almost like a form of active meditation. Physical ability was secondary.

Whatever distance I was running, I made it a point to enjoy every moment, no matter how painful, frustrating, exhausting or challenging. I have no negative training memories to speak of. I don't remember specific instances of pain, frustration or exhaustion. I know those moments existed, but I remember them as good things. ~